So the other day, I was trying to convince my co-worker that I don’t do drugs and we had this exchange.
co-worker: so.. you’re a square
me: I wouldn’t say i’m EXACTLY a square. I’m more of.. a square with rounded edges
co-worker: So… you’re a circle?
I was watching the season finale of the bachelor with my mom. She likes to talk way too much during shows that it’s gotten to the point where i ignore her or say things to make her be quiet. for example:
mom: why is chris harrison’s nose so red?
me: cocaine
mom: oh, really? he seems so coherent though
me: uh huh
mom: I really didn’t think he would be a drug user
me: oh… that was just me saying things
haha this was dedicated to http://lostangelesblog.wordpress.com/ bach caps.
In early December, I told a friend I’d write her a holiday card. Well, the holidays in Dec/Jan came and went faster than the time it took me to FIND a card. Luckily for me, February ALSO has holidays such as Valentine’s day and President’s day. So of course I thought it’d best to send her a card for the most important holiday of all… CHINESE NEW YEARS!! or to be more inclusive: “LUNAR NEW YEARS”.
Since she’s not chinese, I wanted to spread some of that Chinese good luck to her so I put 4 “LUCKY” coins in the envelope along with her card. Wait, this is a little ironic since I’m now realizing that the #4 is bad luck in chinese culture because it is related to “death”…. hmm.
Anyways, a week after i sent her card, i get a text from her. It read, “the postman stole the coins” and this picture:
Shocking!! Yeah, i guess it was my bad because putting multiple coins in the letter made it a little obvious that there was something inside. But i didn’t really think people would be THAT desperate!! And Dianne’s response which is probably true: “i guess they were hard up for cash”.
Well… JOKES ON THEM. they were chocolate coins.
I’m really good at walking dogs…. Not.
I found this gem on my old xanga titled: “The Art of Conversation”
omg.. i had the WORST conversation at dinner today. So i was talkin’ to this guy from my dorm, ereich. He’s pretty smart and likes to use big words that i don’t understand. So we were talking about how me and sarah NOW pump IRON at the ARC… and we’re so buff. and then we asked ereich if he likes to work out. he answered, “NO.. i’d rather write an essay.” and then i was like, “oh.. so you LIKE TO WORK OUT YOUR BRAIN!” and he’s like, “yes.. i like books..” and then the conversation started going downhill…
Me: Soo what kind of books do you enjoy reading?! do you like to read romance novels?
Ereich: NO! i do not believe that i have EVER read a romance novel
Me: Oh, well do you enjoy reading documentaries?!
Ereich: UH… nooooo.. because documentaries are MOVIES..
Me: ::starts cracking up:: ERH…. hahaha.. i KNOW! what i MEANT was do you enjoy reading Bibliographies?!
Ereich: UH… did you just say bibliographies!??!?!
Sarah: OMG.. BIBLIOGRAPHIES!? who READS BIBLIOGRAPHIES?!
Ereich: actually… it depends on the book.
~by this time… i’m uncontrollably CRACKING up because i couldn’t believe i said the wrong thing TWICE IN A ROW~
Me: (trying to recover from my mistake) uh…. i mean… ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHIES
Ereich: Uh.. i suppose?!
Me: HAHA… WELL WHAT I REALLY MEANT WAS DO YOU LIKE TO READ BIOGRAPHIES?!
So yeah… it took me awhile to FINALLY get to what i MEANT to say in the first place. But you get where my head was takin’ me with the whole “documentary” thing. and then bibliography SOUNDS like biography. and besides.. last quarter i freakin’ had to write like 100 bibliographies!!! Well that’s my excuse, and i’m sticking to it!!
This reminds me so much to the Paris Syndrome, in which (generally japanese) tourists get really depressed because Paris is not what they thought and need mental assistance
‘there is no british accent white girl off the internet’ truest thing ever
omg… this is everything my British friend, Wendy, taught me in the 2 years i spent with her…. chavs included.
(Source: dicaspers, via cakeninjak)
Met a girl from norway. I asked her what kind of music is hot over there… and she directed me to this guy and this song in particular.
Lars Vaular- Eyes Closed
I don’t understand anything he’s saying… but it tickles my ears every time i hear it so i had to share!!
So after the tick scare on my dog, Fred, my family has been a lot more vigilant about all the lumps and bumps on his body. Today, my mom decided to give him some attention and held him on her lap. As we finished our conversation at the table, she put fred down and screamed, “OMG, THERE’S A MAGGOT ON HIS PEE PAD!” i was absolutely disgusted. my mom was like, “omg, these pee pads are fresh because i just put it down 20 minutes ago, and there’s a maggot on it RIGHT NOW! it must have fallen out of fred’s BUTT when i put him down!!” i was horrified and said, “are YOU SURE it came from his butt!?” my mom said, “well.. there’s no other place it could have come from!! he might have worms or something! I’m going to put it with the tick.” so my mom fetches the bag with the tick, and sticks the maggot in the bag. I refused to take a look at it because just the thought of having a BUG come out of my dog’s butt hole absolutely freaked me out. why is my dog falling apart!?!?
We gave fred a bath and washed all his clothes and doggy bed. My sister called the house, and my mom told her about the maggot she found. My sister was really disgusted as well and wanted to take a look. So when i finally got the courage, I went downstairs to show my sister through “face time” the new found maggot. but when I finally took a look at it myself, I was like, “UHHH.. i don’t think this is a maggot… it looks like a wood chip.” my mom came downstairs, put on her glasses and was like, “ooh. i don’t think it’s a maggot either. Actually, now that i have my glasses on, I think it’s part of that cracker you were eating today.”
Wow… just wow.
I’m so upset right now!!
A week ago, when my sister came back home from NY, i noticed a little tan growth coming out of my dog’s side. I showed my sister and she said, “oh, that’s just a skin tag. people get them all the time.” i kept asking, “are you sure? are you sure? i’ve never seen this on fred, it looks like a nipple on his butt.” However, being the “i-know-everything-older-sister” she confidently kept reassuring me that it was just a skin growth and to leave it alone.
Well of course, every time i petted Fred, i’d flick the little “skin growth” because i thought it was so weird he had a “nipple” on his butt. HOWEVER, today, my mom just told me that she just discovered the biggest TICK on fred and she had to pull it out. She saved it in a bag, and when i saw it.. it was fred’s “SKIN TAG” that i had been flicking around for the past week!!
OMG… now fred’s butt is swollen red/irritated and i only have myself to blame for believing my sister. POOR. FRED.
